Sunday, April 29, 2012

As god calls...

Its the final hours... My sister was crying on the phone, I havent talked 2 my mom in a couple of days because its hard for her 2 talk and she sleeps alot, so i have my sister put the phone on speaker and i tell my mom that I love her so much, Although she is sleeping, i know she can hear me. Tonight I got a couple of texts which is the end coming closer and closer.

Texts from my sister:

She took off her oxygen and went back to sleep. Told me Jesus loves me and she needs to go.

I told her I love her and we will all be ok.
Now, a couple of days ago my sister said that my mother would stop breathing and then start again. Also, her feet were changing color.

Im gonna miss my mom, she was always there for me when i was broke. Giving me 5 bucks here and there, A couple of dollars in change 2 get something 2 eat. My mother didnt have anything but would give everything to help us, her babies... :(

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Last Kiss Goodbye.

The time is getting closer. I love my mother with all my heart, i just wish i had the money to give her everything she wanted in life. About four days ago I got a call saying the docs say she might have 2 - 4 weeks left. Now, they are saying she has 3 - 5 days. My sister told me that she talked to my mom, and that she knows shes dying, she knows shes going to heaven. Its sad, I feel so helpless. My mom never had anything and was treated like shit her whole life. I dont wanna see her go. After shes gone, i know i'll be praying to god and 2 my mother in heaven. protect me.

I had wrote a song over 10 years ago called "last kiss goodbye" it was about the time when we were kids, she had dropped us off at my dads place. My parents are divorced and we switched every 6 months. It was my dads turn, i didnt want my mom 2 go. We were crying, not understanding what was going on. She gave us kisses and she cried with us, and then left. I remember pulling the curtain 2 the side and watching her drive away. I dont remember exactly how old i was, i just remember that i can barely see out the window as I watch her car drive away.

Life is Vegas, I got a part time job, its different then what im used 2. im a server. im suppose to be studying for a test in a couple of days, but all i can think about is my mother.

I wonder how it would be different if i havent experienced people dying all my life... I remember I broke down when i was 15, I had a friend kill himself, then grandparents went, more friends and suicide, my brother in law, then seeing people around town and saying whatsup to people at the bar you see every weekend, only to find out they where shot and killed less the 24 hours later.

Life is definitely a trip, live, and live it to the fullest.